Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Kids (and Parents) say the Darndest Things

During the past month of school, I have acquired a short list of things that I want to remember that the precious little angel babies that are my students, and their parental units (although in some cases I dont think parental unit would be the correct terminology) have said or written at school or as it pertains to the child's education. These statements, questions, etc., have provided many much needed laughs on days that seem never ending. Let me elaborate.

Exibit A: A note addressed to my host teachers regarding a parents medical situation after a car accident informing said host teachers of the following: "I am currently disadled so I apologize if I am unavailable at times and uninvolved in my child's education"...the parent meant "disabled." Obviously. Perhaps not funny to some...sorry 'bout it.

Exhibit B: The same child mentioned above chose to use the restroom in his pants one day...yes, chose. This child knows better, trust me. This child's "disadled" parent forgot to put a change of clothes in his backpack (Pre-K & K kids are all asked to have a change of clothes at school), so a family member was asked to come pick him up. My host teacher waited in the front office with this child until the family member arrived. While they were waiting, this student informed EVERY. single adult that walked into the office that "I'M FREE & I POOPED IN MY PANTS!!!" Translation: "I'M THREE & I POOPED IN MY PANTS!!!" As frustrated as we were at the end of this day, we could NOT stop laughing. Actually, I still cant stop laughing.

Exhibit C: A note is recieved from a student's parent that reads the following (pretty much word for word) "Will glue be required for homework assignments, or is tape okay? I try not to keep glue in the house unless it is required because...dont laugh, (insert name here) has a nasty habit of gluing things to the dog. Let me know!" I die.

Exhibit D: One of our "little" Kindergarten girls (she's not exactly little) has a hard time with saying her K's for some reason and instead uses T for her K's. For example, she might call a classmate named Kathryn, Tathryn. This student was telling my host teacher that she has "tarate today"..translation "karate." So my host teacher tells the regular ed teacher this saying "Mrs. D*, did you hear that (insert name here) has "tarate" today?" Mrs. D replied "yeah, she also has titties at home"...I will leave the translating up to you, my fine, few and far between readers.

I couldnt help but feel compelled to document these moments so that they are readily available for days when a good laugh is much needed.


*Names have been changed to protect privacy!

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